Saturday, May 28, 2011

1 month!



Happy ONE MONTH birthday to our baby girl! I cannot even put into words what the last month has been like. In fact, I thought about not even doing a post because it is so hard to articulate how I am feeling. Such a mixture of emotions over the last month. Each day over the last month I have fallen more in love with Eliana. Each day of the last month has been hard. Really hard. Some more difficult than others, but it is safe to say that being a mother is hard work. I have had some very low moments where I don't feel cut out to be her mom. I have also had some high moments where I feel that I am meant to be her mom. Each feeling brings such a rush of emotion and it's sometimes hard to handle... but I deal because I know I have to for my sweet daughter.

We have come a long way in the last month and we are starting to understand each other better. Each day one little thing clicks for me and I have a small "ah-ha" moment, and I think it's the same for her.

I feel SO blessed to have Eliana in my life and to be going through these amazing, challenging, special times with such a sweet little one. I can't wait to see what the months ahead bring!

(I hope this post does not seem too dark... I just think it's important to write about these feelings not only for my healing but also to validate what I know other new moms are also feeling.)

6 comments:

Ali said...

wow! a month already!? how does time fly so much once these babies are here?!? hang in there girl, motherhood is brutal but so so worth it. good things happen when they turn 6 weeks old, too, and that is right around the corner. she is beautiful by the way!!

Melissa Moore said...

Oh Dee...she is soo cute. And as for your feelings...well any mother that has not had the same feelings would be lying. Motherhood is the hardest job, but I believe that is what makes it the most rewarding also. Every age brings new bright moments, but come with their fair share of dark. Love ya girlfriend!!

Krista said...

Love the honesty!!!! makes me feel normal :) heheh she's so cute!!!

Anne said...

Reading this post made me remember what I felt at one month with all of mine. You are so right, everyday is about ah-ha moments for us, and for little them. It is so much take from them and so much give from us - but then even more give from them when we consider how happy we are to have them ni our lives. A fruitbowl of emotions!! I looked back on my blog to the one month post from Claire - I can hardly remember that day. So tired. You'll be glad you posted and marked this day in the record books. I love you!!

Shelley & Ron said...

What a beautiful girl - just like her mama. I still pinch myself sometimes when I can't believe I AM A MOM! These amazing blessings are ALL MINE! Hard to grasp at times. I am here for you if you ever wanna chat. xoxo

Lana said...

get ready for time to fly!! seriously, these kids are going to be 18 before we know it! and your post was NOT dark, you silly mama. i have to remind myself all the time that you don't get the great if you don't have the not-so-great. the thing is: parenthood never gets any easier. just when you've figured something out, it all changes. it doesn't get easier, but it gets "normaler." and everyday is a little better than the day before. and pretty soon you can't imagine a life without your girl. and you wouldn't want to imagine it. just remember: this isn't easy for ANYONE. if they say it is than they are just lying ;-)but no one could be a better mom to Eliana and all you have to do is love her. that's it. everything else manages to work itself out..