Saturday, May 28, 2011
Happy ONE MONTH birthday to our baby girl! I cannot even put into words what the last month has been like. In fact, I thought about not even doing a post because it is so hard to articulate how I am feeling. Such a mixture of emotions over the last month. Each day over the last month I have fallen more in love with Eliana. Each day of the last month has been hard. Really hard. Some more difficult than others, but it is safe to say that being a mother is hard work. I have had some very low moments where I don't feel cut out to be her mom. I have also had some high moments where I feel that I am meant to be her mom. Each feeling brings such a rush of emotion and it's sometimes hard to handle... but I deal because I know I have to for my sweet daughter.
We have come a long way in the last month and we are starting to understand each other better. Each day one little thing clicks for me and I have a small "ah-ha" moment, and I think it's the same for her.
I feel SO blessed to have Eliana in my life and to be going through these amazing, challenging, special times with such a sweet little one. I can't wait to see what the months ahead bring!
(I hope this post does not seem too dark... I just think it's important to write about these feelings not only for my healing but also to validate what I know other new moms are also feeling.)